A Guide to Marriage

Jane Austen’s "Pride and Prejudice" Is Timely & Wise

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”

Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice begins with that line, one of the most famous in English literature. It seems to indicate that the reader is about to enjoy a simple romance about courtship in the upper class. However, in this masterpiece, widely celebrated almost since its original publication, the opening sentence plays out more ironically, revealing characters and offering a refreshing alternative to the current low regard accorded to marriage.

Pride and Prejudice tells the story of the five daughters of Mr. and Mrs. Bennet, members of the landed gentry. Mr. Bennet’s property is entailed on his nearest male relative, meaning that, since he has no sons, his daughters must marry men who can care for them; otherwise, they, along with their mother, will face relative destitution after their father dies.

Mrs. Bennet’s single-minded aspiration to unite her daughters with men of property and position sets the direction of the plot. When Mr. Bingley, a wealthy and handsome man, arrives in the area, Mrs. Bennet is eager to see him paired with her eldest daughter, Jane. The emotionalism of Mrs. Bennet and the somewhat sullen reasoning of Mr. Darcy, Bingley’s class-conscious friend, clash immediately and bring the second Bennet daughter, Elizabeth, into conflict with Mr. Darcy. This conflict drives the development of their relationship and affects the lives of every other member of the Bennet family. Elizabeth is both intelligent and practical. Mr. Darcy is independent and focused. Each is guilty of both pride and prejudice—two qualities in tension, each giving rise to the other.

The interplay of characters is central to the novel. On the Bennet side, the characters include Elizabeth’s tactless and emotional mother; her good-humored though detached father; her devoted older sister, Jane; her undisciplined and overly romantic youngest sister, Lydia; and her supremely practical best friend, Charlotte Lucas. On Mr. Darcy’s side, key players include his exceptionally eligible and malleable friend, Mr. Bingley; Bingley’s scheming sister, Caroline; the charming but despicable George Wickham; and the narcissistic Lady Catherine de Bourgh. Each contributes to developing the themes of pride, prejudice, and marriage.

Pairings & Proposals

Mrs. Bennet’s machinations first turn to the goal of pairing Mr. Bingley with Jane. Though Jane loves Bingley, her mother sees only his wealth. Bingley is indeed taken with Jane, but his sister Caroline and Mr. Darcy discourage the match. Both harbor pride and prejudice against those of a lower social standing and disapprove of Mrs. Bennet’s shallowness and inability to control her tongue. Elizabeth becomes aware of Mr. Darcy’s views, thus laying the foundation of her prejudices against him.

The first proposal to a Bennet daughter comes from Mr. Collins, Mr. Bennet’s heir, a boorish clergyman with a toady’s regard for his patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh. For Collins, marriage is a transaction that would please his patroness while also polishing his own image as a clergyman. Mrs. Bennet tells him Jane is essentially engaged to Bingley (though she is not), and Collins immediately turns his attention to Elizabeth.

The advantage, he notes, of marrying one of the Bennet sisters (any of them would do) would be easing the pain of the eventual loss of their father. His proposal—more like a sales pitch—contains no evidence of affection or respect for Elizabeth, and she rejects his pompous proposal.

The first character in the novel to marry is Charlotte Lucas, who, much to Elizabeth’s surprise, accepts Collins’s next proposal for the utterly practical reason that he has a position but needs a wife, and she needs a husband. Charlotte shares her views with Elizabeth: “Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. . . . it is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life.” Charlotte voices the prevailing view of marriage among the middle and upper classes. Her view is much like Collins’s: marriage is a transaction, a business arrangement, a decision made by reason with little regard for emotion.

The second marriage comes about after the ne’er-do-well soldier George Wickham runs off with fifteen-year-old Lydia, whom he has no intention of marrying. She does not possess the wealth requisite to support him. He marries her only after the stern but conscientious Mr. Darcy, hoping to remain anonymous, steps in and forces the matter. Lydia sees only the adventure of marrying a soldier and the satisfaction of being first among her sisters to marry. She regards marriage as an opportunity to buy clothes and flaunt her imagined status before her sisters. Both Lydia and her mother remain oblivious to the shame her behavior has brought upon the family.

Humility & Happiness

The relationship between Elizabeth and Darcy serves as the primary romantic story arc. Darcy initially rejects her as beneath him, and for her part, she finds him haughty and judgmental. Both his rejection and her opinion play into the twin themes of pride and prejudice. Though Darcy’s regard for Elizabeth softens, Elizabeth’s pride and prejudice color her attitude toward him throughout most of the novel.

As Darcy gradually warms to Elizabeth, he recognizes both her wit and strength of character. Moreover, with almost Christ-like grace, he sacrifices his pride and uses his influence to help Elizabeth’s family by intervening in the shameful affair of Lydia’s elopement. When Elizabeth recognizes this newfound humility and act of selfless kindness, she turns from pride. Seeing Darcy in a new light, she accepts his proposal.

The Delicate Art of Marriage

Austen makes clear that a good marriage requires a rightly ordered relationship between emotion and reason. Both are gifts from God, and each has a rightful role. Emotion is subject to change and can misdirect the heart, the source of pride and prejudice. Reason can be cold and restrict the spirit. In a rightly ordered marriage, as in a rightly ordered person, reason must govern emotion but must also allow emotion to provide grace and humility.

Austen presents five marriages that point to wisdom about marriage as a complex and delicate partnership. As a couple devoid of either emotional stability or intellectual compatibility, Wickham and Lydia fail to achieve any degree of partnership. Having no true partnership themselves, Mr. and Mrs. Bennet exhibit neither mutual affection nor shared clarity regarding each other or their daughters. Though Mr. Collins and Charlotte Lucas do share an intellectual pragmatism, they lack the emotional bond that nourishes a marriage, making theirs a functioning but less than ideal partnership. Jane and Bingley marry, and to all appearances begin life together a happy couple, yet neither seems to think much beyond their shared sentiment, rendering theirs a tenuous partnership when the inevitable stresses of married life ensue. More than any other couple, Darcy and Elizabeth discover in one another both true intellectual harmony and genuine love and respect, each for the other. Their relationship blossoms as each exercises greater heedfulness of the other.

While feminists urge young women to delay marriage—or avoid it, Austen’s novel offers a healthier perspective. She celebrates the partnership of a man and a woman who are similar in temperament and intellect, and who learn to balance emotion and reason, both within themselves and in relating to one another.

Pride and Prejudice has inspired a number of cinematic reinterpretations. The 1995 BBC television production offers the most faithful retelling of the story. Well-acted and beautifully filmed, it comes closest to the experience of reading the book.