Rally Criers

Another article from the new issue. This one is by Dr. Les Sillars, professor over at Patrick Henry College. He’s lampooned subjects for Salvo in the past–Guyland and the “Brights“–and this time is no exception. Here he is posing as a PR specialist trying to help out those reason ralliers.

Rally for Nothing

A Monologue to Help Atheists with Their Public Relations

by Les Sillars

Greetings, ladies and gentlemen; it’s good to be with you today. As your public relations consultant, I’m pleased to offer my report on Reason Rally 2012, held on March 24 near the Washington Monument on the Mall in D.C.

I’ll get right to the point. I can’t tell if you’re lucky or just really, really good. As representatives of the dozen or so atheist organizations that banded together for this event—American Atheists, the American Humanist Association, the Center for Inquiry, etc.—you organized a very public rally for atheists, rationalists, and free-thinkers of all types. Several thousand people showed up, along with a few dozen “turn-or-burn” Christian counter-demonstrators (as we expected), not to mention the thousands of people simply walking past us on the Mall, minding their own business.

The point of the rally was, as we all know, to soften your public image as cheerless, caustic scolds, and maybe to attract some new members. You wanted, as you explained when you first hired me, to make a “Closet atheists, you are not alone!” kind of statement. Too many of your members are ashamed, you said, to be known as atheists or humanists in such an oppressively theistic country. This rally would be a party to let everyone know that you support the sorts of things that everybody else favors, things like “reason” and “human potential” and “science.” These are wonderful concepts that evoke warm, positive feelings in people.

read the full article. . .

Of course this article lent itself quite nicely to a fake ad which I hope you’ll take a look at.

Also, I’d like to give a special thanks to our Facebook fans who have been pretty enthusiastic about this batch of fake ads. This is gratifying, as we were scrambling for ideas almost up until print day! It’s not that there is a shortage of things to go after but, as you might imagine, we also have to dedicate quite a bit of time to the material on the other 60 or so pages of each issue.

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