Last year, an expert psychologist came up with an equation to calculate a gift's worth. It being December, and with Salvo 19 mailing out to subscribers next week, I thought it would be a good time to run this gauntlet and prove once and for all that a subscription to Salvo is the perfect gift. Let's get started.
Here is the equation: Pi + Po + Cr + S + U + H + ( T x L ) / C.
Convinced yet? Then let's take a closer look at what these variables stand for and then rank Salvo accordingly (using the Salvo about page as a guide). With this equation, any score greater than 40 is considered an "excellent value for the money" among many other things as you will see.
Pi – Of how much use is Salvo to the individual reader? (out of 5).
Ever hear of a little thing called human dignity? Read one issue of Salvo and you'll be bursting with the stuff (renewed love, respect, concern for humanity and etc.). Salvo = 5
Po – Of how much use will Salvo be for the reader's friends and family? (out of 5)
Community is Salvo's middle name. Salvo = 5
Cr – How well does Salvo stimulate and facilitate the imagination? (out of 5)
If Salvo facilitated stimulation any more it would have to start running articles against itself for being undignified. Salvo = 5
S – How well does Salvo facilitate cooperative social interaction? (out of 5)
A whole lot. If you disagree, just take a hike, you clown. Salvo = 5
U – What is the utility of Salvo. Use all year round, can take outside, etc.? (out of 5)
Salvo, that perfect-bound resource you'll turn to again and again, comes to your door four times a year. And, yes, it is extremely portable. Salvo = 5
H – Will Salvo be handed down from generation to generation? (out of 5)
Survival of the fittest. Let's just say that a subscription to Salvo will encourage the reader to actually enjoy humanity and contribute to future generations so that there will be people to hand things down to. Salvo = 5
T – Estimated time spent with Salvo per week (in hours).
Two hours a day keep revisionist fictions away. Salvo = 14
L – Estimated number of months each issue of Salvo is cherished.
In an effort to keep this equation realistic, here is just a low estimate. Plus Salvo will NEVER biodegrade so even if you throw it out, it will live on.
Salvo = 20
5 + 5 + 5 + 5 + 5 +5 (14 x 20) / 15.6 = 47.9
Well there you have it. Salvo scored a whopping 47.9! So now it has finally been proven by experts that Salvo makes the perfect gift. And if the numbers and data don't persuade you, just listen to your heart. Give the gift of Salvo today!